For those who have already had the belly-tickling pleasure of seeing Madagascar 2, the reference in the title to Moto-Moto will be immediately apparent, and you will have already guessed I am about to write about hippos. For the rest of you...what are you waiting for? Our trip to Wechiau Hippo Sanctuary brought us up close and personal with several hippos as they soaked and wrestled in the Black Volta, the mighty river that marks a section of northwestern border between Burkina Faso and Ghana. 
The above picture may at first glance appear to resemble an archaic dugout canoe like those (previously!) used by various Aboriginals around the world, but whose time has long since passed due to mass production and innovation (not to mention safety regulations!). This is certainly how it appeared to us we nervously looked around for the "real" boat that would be taking the six of us and our two guides to get up close and personal with Africa's most dangerous animal. We soon realized that this was none other than a standard issue eco-safari transport and viewing vehicle--Ghanaian style! If we had not just covered yet another hour of rough terrain to the Wechiau eco-tourism office where we paid our hefty guide fees, followed by thirty minutes of off-road rally driving in the mini-van, and if it did not just happen that we could see a large group of hippos upshore, I'm sure we would not have hesitated to take a pass. Had we done so, we would have missed out on one of the most wonderful experiences of our lives.
I didn't spend too long feeling bad about the fact that our two rather slim guides had to do all the paddling, as I was too busy peeing in my pants. I have read and heard in many places that more people are killed by hippos in Africa each year, than by any other creature, and as the two youngest grew restless in their "one size fits none" life vests, Carmilla and I grew increasingly nervous! As you can see, the hippos are pretty darn blatant about acknowledging your presence, something you would prefer they didn't do. There were seven hippos in the family we saw, and they took turns disappearing under the water (for at least enough time to swim under our dugout canoe) after glaring at us menacingly for five to ten minutes.
We stayed on the water for about thirty minutes and eventually the hippos actually started playing and wrestling underwater. It must have been unusual as our guides were both highly amused. We were completely alone on the Black Volta River, and we were apparently very lucky to see the hippos so quickly as it can take a couple of hours. We were only passed by a couple of village fisherman, returning with their catch. This was probably the highlight for Finn as he got to see a bucket of living fish, rather than some silly ol' distant ears and eyes poking up through the water. And of course at no point did any of them break into song and start shaking their hippo booties.
It was obviously worth it, at any price, and most of these sanctuaries are run as eco-tourism outfits wherein the profits go directly into the community to create employment, build schools, or develop clinics. This particular operation was set-up through a partnership with Canada, so it was nice for the kids to see what kind of work their country does abroad. We bought a few clay pots that were a mere two ghana cedis each and are quite lovely. We were also swarmed as we tried to drive away, because we started handing out balloons to the children of the community. Most children in Ghana have enough to eat--unlike many other parts of Africa--but there is still very little left for some of the pleasures of childhood, so we try to bring along something to give out while we travel, such as toffees, biscuits or balloons. Since this was part of Christmas safari, it felt all the more appropriate.
All told, a trip to Mole from Accra will set you back about ten to twelve hours each way. We actually stopped in Kumasi to break up the journey and take in some of the sights in and around that city, but I'll save that city for a later entry. If you should make the journey, please do not allow yourself to assume that the description people offer of the road on the final leg into Larabanga and the park gate (less than a hundred kms. and a solid two hour, trafficless drive) is an exaggeration. People from developed countries have not the experience nor the vocabulary to describe experiences, though those who know what lies beneath the snow and ice of a Winnipeg or Saskatchewan winter (ie: Potholes to the Centre of the Earth), or who have seen the bombed-out wartime roads seen from a jeep's eye view in say Mash or Saving Private Ryan might have an inkling. Please indulge me, so that I might conjure a demonstration for you to try at home.
This picture represents a small part of the pay-off. This said, no one who describes the road will ever suggest that you should skip Mole, as it is unspoiled, inexpensive, and loaded with African wildlife. We arrived--shaken and stirred, our innards reconfigured--just in time to behold sunset across an African Savannah, while humming Hakuna Matata. Our chalet had its own little porch that overlooked the watering hole where we later hiked down into to see an elephant up close and a little too interested in us. During the first morning, the camp was swarmed by a large family of baboons who raided the garbage, and made a rather terrifying attempt to steal our children's breakfast cereal. Later, the children said "Why didn't you take a picture?" I explained that the hungriest baboon was roughly Brontë's size and twice Cohen's weight and their safety was more a concern than a photo op. Cohen is still disappointed that he will not be a famous YouTube video. 
We went on a driving safari on the first morning and when we rounded the first corner, there were dozens of baboons, warthogs, and antelope so it set a wonderful tone for the rest of the journey. We did not see an elephant on the first safari and returned to the station feeling a little disappointed. It didn't last though as the Mole Motel has a swimming pool! By the early afternoon, an elephant had come to the watering hole and we hiked into the basin to watch it cool down. A few massive crocodiles slid into the water as we arrived and there were some grey monkeys running around beside us. When the elephant started to swim toward us and we all found ourselves not needing the zoom on our cameras, our guide suggested we leave.
We also saw bush and water buck, one other type of monkey, another species of antelope (Kobe, I think), dozens of bird species and even a Civet cat. There are some lions in the park, but they are nowhere near the camp, which is probably a good thing. Our guide drove with us (again, in our van...Go Chevy Venture!) and directed us for nearly two hours and the charge for his services was less than 5 Ghana cedis. The chalet, with a huge bed, fridge, AC, private bath and shower, and breakfast included was a mere 50 Ghana cedis! This probably makes it one of the least expensive safaris in Africa, and it is certainly the safest!
We woke up on Christmas morning and gathered around the impromptu "Christmas lamp" to discover that Santa had found us all the way in northern Ghana. The kids were definitely impressed and the stockings contained a few comforts of home such as Oreos, and a few West African surprises as well. Under the tree, Santa left Cohen some carved elephants, Brontë a hand-made leather and wood jewelry box, Materia a Dora the Explorer backpack, and Finn a set of rubber reptiles. Everyone got a Christmas "African animal" ornament from Global Mamas NGO, made from recycled glass beads. While the under-the-tree haul was decidedly thinner than a typical Christmas, I don't think anyone was disappointed--especially after we opened the curtains to see the sun breaking over Africa.
At the first clang of Santa's rather large school bell, and the first glimpse of his disco Santa jumpsuit, chaos reigned and I'm sure at least one of the children present peed their pants (in his defense, Finn still wears a diaper so it was to be expected). Santa then conducted the laughing children in stirring, Boney-M-esque renditions of a few beloved Christmas carols. Then Santa nestled his ample bottom into the Christmas throne and began to dole out the gift-wrapped booty. I hope that you will now spend a good, long while (at least as long as Finn did) looking at the picture of Santa. If you can't shake the feeling that there is something altogether familiar about Santa, you can relate to my children's experience of the day.
Aside from Materia, all of the kids figured it out. We weren't sure about Cuyler, but when he was later asked who gave him his new dinosaurs, he swiftly answered "Da-Da." It was a bit surprising since he spent the better part of his time peering at me from behind mom, and was very reluctant to accept a gift from me. After I gave Cohen his gift, he leaned in and said, "See you later dad." Brontë begged me to admit that it was me, as there was still enough magic in her imagination to leave room for doubt. The kids reported later that their school mates had never had a Santa that was so funny before. Of course I have had prior experience as I played Santa in the school in Black Lake several years ago. Yep, that's me, always the class clown! I suppose there are worse things than being type-cast as Santa!
2. Monkeys and Hippos and Elephants...Oh My!: You are guaranteed to come up close and personal with a rather splendid variety of plants, mammals, and birds that previously existed only in books and zoos. If you're really lucky, you may even get bitten by something and have a cool scar to show for it!
3. Bragging Rights: You just know you've got that one friend who has a PhD in oneupmanship and try as you might, your accomplishments (which are, let's be honest, pretty darn impressive in their own right) always fall just short of winning the focus of conversation around tea (or other such "refreshments"). Try this: "I just crossed oceans, jungles, and continents to explore Africa with my grandchildren. What are you doing in your retirement?" The photographs alone will set the hens a-twitter! The Killarney Guide and will likely want to do a "Where Are They Now?" exposé and you'll probably wind up with key to the town. 
4. Beaches: This should be the final straw, as we know all too well your weakness for sun, beaches and sand. We just bet that the thought of your feet in the warm sand (in winter!) set your toes a-wigglin'! Can you hear the waves? ...the sound of the ocean in the conch shells? ...the windswept voices of your grandchildren playing on the beach? We can. Enough said.
5. Waterfalls: Okay, so I know that Canada has waterfalls, but the chances are that you will not have any of them all to yourself, at least without a half day hike into the rocky mountains. And, you will certainly be discouraged from getting close enough to feel the rainforest spray on your face! We've hardly seen another tourist on any of our excursions, admission is ridiculously cheap, or free, and (for better or worse) no one seems to discourage us from doing anything in the presence of a waterfall.
6. Culture: Museums, markets, safaris, grass huts, dancing, Kente weaving, castles, drumming, woodcarvers, palava sauce, fufu, banku, and so much more. Not to mention the fact that Ghanaians are some of the friendliest, most welcoming people in the world--and they love Canadians. 
7. Africa: Hey, it's Africa! There is very little chance that you will say to yourself, in reflecting on the content and quality of your life, "It's too bad I went to Africa." Quite the contrary, I might argue. Of course, you might get eaten by an alligator or trampled by a hippo, but who could ask for a better fate than this?! You'd be legendary, there would be a video on YouTube and Peter Mansbridge would be talking about it on The National. Sure, there would be emotional scars left on the children, but they'd all be spiritually healed and financially affirmed after their father wrote his tell-all creative non-fiction memoir about the experience and it became an Oprah book (and you know how I adore Oprah...it's a win-win!).
8. Winter: Need we say more? Let us know when your flight arrives and we'll pick you up at the airport!!
This said, the resort is the exception to Accra's coastline--a real oasis in the heart of dirtyville! It does cost more to use the pool as a day user (10 cedis for adults and 5 for children), but they didn't charge for our two youngest, so it was actually less expensive than Shangri-La, despite the latter being the much poorer cousin. As the pictures reveal, we had the enormous labyrinth of pools--kiddie pool, shallow pool and wraparound grown-up pool with bridges, waterfalls and swim-up bar--to ourselves when we first arrived and this was pretty much the case until noon. As most people find the mornings unreasonably cold for swimming (a mere 28 degrees!), we are often alone in the a.m. and we tend to leave by mid-afternoon when things start to fill up.
The pool also has a theme park for children and was generally kid-friendly all round. There is a boat ride around the theme park that was closed for renovations (welcome to Ghana!), but the kids were still able to explore the structure to break up the day a little. The massive grounds also provide for a decent stroll with a view of the ocean, without any of the very aggressive city sellers that haunt the beach. There was a fishing net catch that was being divvied up on the beach that attracted much attention and was interesting to have a glimpse of.
The hotel was adorned with Christmas trees (reminiscent of Victoria's Empress at Christmas) and some of the most original and stunning paintings that I've seen in Ghana. We also took note (for future reference) of the Thai massage parlor and the salon that is reputed to be adept with "European" hairstyles and cuts. 
Eating is something of an adventure all to itself at La Palm as there are several restaurants and lounges, and prices vary considerably. We opted for the poolside menu which featured inexpensive and delicious pizzas that the kids loved, a pool burger topped with a fried egg (common here), and a substantial clubhouse wrap for mom. After the meal, Cohen noted that it was the first time that everyone was happy with their meals, and he was right. Carmilla noted that the chef must have some Western training as the food could have come from Earl's or some such franchise, though less expensive. I hope your sitting down for this next statement: THE FOOD WAS ON OUR TABLE IN LESS THAN THIRTY MINUTES!! The Sunday brunch is reasonably priced and said to be incredible, so watch this space!
The "Holy Grail" of trips to the pool is any (much-coveted) block of time that "the parents" are able to spend reading an actual book (we don't count the menu or the pool rules). As this whole experience was already surreal, we managed to devour several pages of Scott Griffin's My Heart is Africa, while Finn sawed poolside logs. We hardly believed it ourselves! We will be back , and likely often, as it fires on all cylinders for our family's buck and it is a mere fifteen minutes away in weekend morning traffic. 
Now, the pictures we took will speak for themselves in suggesting that this is one of the most stunning locations along this or any other coast, but it is just the sort of elitist, posh, wealthy indulgence that makes me feel guilty as well as broke. We had tried on one other occasion to come to White Sands, but we were told at the gate that it would be $25 (USD!) per person to attend. Yes, that is a whopping $150.00 for our family to access the beach through their resort! This time, we arrived with friends who thought they were allowed to bring a family in with them. On this day (rules change on a pretty regular basis in Ghana), it turned out that they were not allowed to bring a family in, but we could pay a special reduced rate of $75. Having made the trip, and as we were with friends, we paid, albeit grudgingly. Apparently, several families can get together and buy a corporate membership for a couple thousand dollars and then they can come for free all year. As the resort is quite close to Accra and the beach is exceptional, this is probably a pretty good value even if you were to come once or twice a month.
Lunch was a quintessentially Ghanaian adventure as the restaurant and beach were especially busy and there had been a large event the night before that had depleted resources. We ordered pizza, which was very pricey, but good, and it arrived just short of two hours after I ordered it and about an hour after everyone else's food had arrived. The people we were with were very kind in that they shared their meals around until ours arrived. There were eleven children and six adults to begin the meal, and with my pizza arriving so late, I was the last one left alone at a table for seventeen. In Ghana so long as there is an explanation for lateness (the national pastime), there is no problem, so we received no discount and no compensation. While you are guaranteed access to a fine stretch of paradise at White Sands, customer service is optional!
Perhaps the best thing about White Sands is that the ocean here is another spot where things are less dangerous and parents do not have to be on constant "baywatch" (Sorry, I couldn't resist the slow motion image of me that this would conjure up...eat your heart out Hasselhoff!). The tide goes out a good long way so when we were there, the amount of beach front was massive and there was loads of space to run. Also, the village, with its fishing boats and busy waterfront make for a nice little walk, though it seemed to me my walk into their midst was more the exception than the rule and I stopped before I interrupted their football match on the sand. I also turned back because I felt I was intruding and there's no way turnabout would have been fair play if they had tried to invade White Sands.
Cuyler was pretty sleepy after a day of beachcombing and wave dodging, so while the gang went to swim in the pool for the last hour, he slept in my arms for an hour. I certainly couldn't complain about the view or the company! He will soon be two and I'm sure for him, Ghana will exist only in pictures and stories for him, rather than in memories.
We had the party on the actual day of her birthday, so it made for a hectic day (especially for Carmilla--thanks mom!) as it was a weekday. To complicate matters, the waitress from the restaurant at the pool refused to serve us, claiming there was "no menu and no food." She just happens to be the very same server who tried to double our bill the last time we were there, trying to tell us that the prices had changed since she handed us the menu. We did not fall for this age-old Ghanaian custom (reserved for obruni) and simply did the math ourselves, included a small dash, and went on our way. The patrons, "Douglas the Driver," and staff of the pool were on our side (as they knew the real prices as well as the "custom"), so we left her with a rather sour expression on her face and went on our merry way. Her revenge meant I had to dash out and get pizza, which was probably for the best as the last time our food took more than an our to arrive and the order was wrong. Alas, this will probably be our last visit to the Granada, as the pool was also quite dirty! Welcome to Ghana, have a nice birthday! 
